INTROSPECTION

My mothe’s house remains as it has been for over twenty years. I noticed that the furniture in the house is still in the same place, with only minor changes like the color of tablecloths or an old chair, or even a sofa cover. We have the habit of having our morning coffee together. While my mother sits on the right side of the table and watches television, I drink my coffee and observe her. I couldn’t help but feel like I had jumped back twenty years and entered into a dialogue with my mind, leading me into the labyrinth of thoughts that I had been avoiding at the present time. My mind brought me back to ground zero, if not lower, and I discovered that I had suppressed some of my feelings, thinking that I had dealt with them during my previous travels abroad. But I was mistaken, as all of my psychological anxieties that I thought I had overcome were only repressed and dormant, like dormant cancer cells, waiting for the right moment to awaken and cause complete damage. I left my mother’s house after forty-eight hours, on a new journey to a mysterious destination I knew not where it would take me.

منزل أمي مازال كما هو منذ اكثر من عشرين سنه ، مازال اثاث المنزل كما هو وبنفس المكان ، فقط تغير بسيط كلون شرشف طاوله او كرسي قديم او حتى غطاء كنبه. نشرب القهوة صباحا ، هي تجلس على يمين الطاوله و تشاهد التلفاز وانا اشرب القهوة وانظر اليها ، لم أتمالك نفسي بأنني قفزت بالزمن عشرين سنه للوراء و دخلت بحوار مع عقلي أوصلني الى دهاليز انا بغنى عنها بالوقت الحالي . أوصلني عقلي من جديد الى نقطت الصفر لا بل أدنى ، واكتشفت انني كنت اكبت بعض من مشاعري ظننا مني انني حللتها خلال فترت اسفاري خارج البلاد . ولكنني كنت مخطئة ، اذ ان كل هواجسي النفسيه و التي أعتقت انني فككتها كانت فقط مكبوته و نامه تمام كخلايا سراطانية نائمة منتظره اللحظة المناسبه للاستيقاظ و اعلان تلف كامل . و غادرت منزل أمي بعد ثماني و أربعون ساعه ، في رحله لا عرف البته الي أين سوف تسافر بي

Paranoia
220 x 150 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Solitude
200 x 200 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Anxiety and fear 1
100 x 140 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
The three monkeys and I
200 x 180 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2020
Anxiety and fear 2
100 x 140 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Positionly crushed
100 x 150 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Penetralia
100 x 120 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2020
Schizophrenia
100 x 150 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Finally I am Alone
100 x 150 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
I Am not Alone
100 x 80 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Father and I
120 x 160 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
The Pet
50 x 40 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Autoportrait
60 x 50 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Once upon time in Thailand
100 x 80 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
Autoportrait 2
100 x 15 cm
Acrylic on canvas
2019
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